Fairytales Are For Children
by melanthe lilac
Summary: Jack and the crazy, funny, and just plainly weird situations he stumbles into off world. A drabble series. Ratings vary
1. Oooh, Shiny!

**Title: **Fairytales Are For Children, Chapter 1; Oooh, Shiny!  
**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1  
**Category: **Humour  
**Rating:** PG / K+  
**Length: **100 words  
**Pairing: **none  
**Summary****:** Jack and the crazy, funny, and just plainly weird situations he stumbles into off world. A drabble series. Ratings vary

**A/N:** Just a silly thing I came up with, that turned into an even more silly series! Just in case you're confused, every chapter is based on a different fairytale. A note of thanks to Neoinean for the Beta. Any remaining faults are my own. Enjoy!

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"How could you do that, Jack? How could you even _consider_ doing something so mindlessly stupid?"

"Come now, Daniel. You know me, always ready to do something new and exciting. No, actually, that would be you. But, it's not so bad, is it? We're practically royalty here!"

"Yes, Jack, we are! That's the problem! They keep insisting we 'take over what is rightfully ours,' and I get the feeling that if we refuse, we'll end up in the gallows!"

Jack sighed. Daniel had a point... sorta.

In hindsight, drawing that sword out of the stone wasn't such a great idea...

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End.  
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	2. Curiouser and Curiouser!

**Title: **Fairytales Are For Children, Chapter 2; Curiouser and Curiouser!  
**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1  
**Category:** Humour  
**Rating:** G  
**Length: **150 words  
**Summary****:** Jack and the crazy, funny, and just plainly weird situations he stumbles into off world. A drabble series. Ratings vary

**A/N:** Many, grateful thanks to my Beta, Neoinean. All remaining faults are my own. Another part of my silly little series! Enjoy!

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Nope. Not that mushroom either. And certainly not _that_ one. He reached down, and tried another.

Everything swivelled before his eyes, and a very large, very green, very _thin_ tree appeared in front of him. He sighed.

Then he walked what seemed to be a mile before he got to the next mushroom, and prayed this was 'the one.' 'Cause, you know, he was getting pretty full, and soon he'd have mushrooms growing out of his ears, if this continued.

He crossed his fingers, hoping for the best. He ate it.

And watched as the ground disappeared. The the wind kicked up a notch, and he felt a chill run through him. He rubbed his head, wincing as he touched a sore spot, and wished he hadn't stood under that tree.

Jack wowed that never again would he follow a white rabbit, no matter _how_ interesting it's gold watch looked.

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End.  
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	3. Wishes are made for Dreams

**Title: **Fairytales Are For Children, Chapter 3; Wishes are made for Dreams  
**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1  
**Category: **Angst  
**Rating:** G  
**Length:** 100 words  
**Pairing:** slight Sam / Jack, if you squint  
**Summary****:** Jack and the crazy, funny, and just plainly weird situations he stumbles into off world. A drabble series. Ratings vary

**A/N:** There's a bit OOC, I know. Pretend, for once, that Jack is a bit selfish (something he rightly deserves, in this fangirl's opinion!). Again, thanks go to my Beta, Neoinean.

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"Come on, my friend, you know you want to. Just one wish, and it could all be yours."

Well... no. He couldn't.

"Fame, power, riches beyond your imagination."

What if... no. He wouldn't.

"New friends, glory, world peace."

Maybe... no. He shouldn't.

"Even new love."

He hesitated.

"Love beyond anything you've ever experienced. Unconditional, lasting, but as real as you and me. What do you say, my friend?"

He'd longed for this. Every lonely night, every single day. One wish...

"I... I want..."

"Sir! Over here!"

Jack sighed, put down the lamp, and went towards the sound of Carter's voice.

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End.  
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	4. Chapter 4

Warnings: implied Character Death, angst

Author's Notes: Jack/Daniel pairing if you squint, or just friendship. Really sorry for this one, guys. Blame the bunnies

Special thanks to my wonderful Beta, Neoinean, who made this story readable.

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_Jack sighed, and scratched his chin one more time. He would never get used to all this facial hair. He looked out the window again. The sun was setting. They would come for him soon._

_Right?_

_Carter was the first one in. Her eyes round in shock, her mouth open, her gun raised. Jack flinched at the coldness in her eyes. _

_Teal'c was second. Jack couldn't figure out if he wanted to cry out of joy or anger when all he did was raise an eyebrow. _

_Daniel. Jack tried to call out, and started moving towards him. There was a loud sound near his ear, then blackness. _

"Come on, Daniel. Let's go. We need to find the Colonel, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Coming, Sam."

Daniel poked the beast one more time with his sidearm, then turned around and walked out of the abandoned ruins of the castle.

Later, he would think about how familiar those brown eyes had been, but he shrugged it off. They had more important things to do.

Daniel sighed, rubbed his eyes, and focused once more on the pages before him.

Jack was missing in action, and nothing was more important than getting his best friend back.


	5. Kiss me, Honey, Honey, Kiss me

**Title: **Fairytales Are For Children, Chapter 5; Kiss me, honey, honey, kiss me  
**Fandom:** Stargate SG-1  
**Category: **Humour  
**Rating:** K/G  
**Length:** 100 words  
**Pairings:** none  
**Summary****:** Jack and the crazy, funny, and just plainly weird situations he stumbles into off world. A drabble series. Ratings vary

**A/N:** This had to be written. So I did. Betaed by the lovely JennMel. All remaining faults are my own.

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This was stupid. This was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever had happen to him. And that was saying a lot.

He sat there, wobbling on his tiny island, surrounded by what seemed to be millions of little buzzing things. There was a motion in the air, then a 'snap' sound was heard.

As he sat there and chewed, he knew he could never, ever tell anyone about this. Ever.

He only hoped someone would be willing to 'do the deed', so he could get out of here.

Plus, he really liked the thought of being turned into a prince.

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End.  
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